1. You choose goals over identity change/changed behavior

There is nothing wrong with setting goals. I encourage setting goals. However, I feel people put far too much emphasis on goal-setting when the real magic happens when we change who we are at the core. It’s not always enough to write down what you want to accomplish. The important thing is who you need to become to reach said goal. What kind of person drives the car you want? What type of person is assertive and sets boundaries? Is the woman who has the physique you desire lounging on her couch every day eating donuts? Probably not. She’s likely decided that she prefers nourishment over artificial sugar. Sure, maybe she has a donut now and then, but it’s no longer a craving. Choosing to become who you said you want to be is actualizing your goal.

2. You never keep your word to yourself & this change is creating internal conflict

If you knew someone who never kept their word how do you think you’d feel about them? If you’re anything like me, you’d likely start to feel like that person isn’t trustworthy and that you shouldn’t believe anything they say. You may also think to yourself: “I can’t depend on this person,” “They’re not going to do that“, or “blah blah blah. You said that last time” as you roll your eyes. What do you think your mind and body are thinking when you say to yourself repeatedly that you’re going to start jogging on Monday, but many Mondays have come and gone? You’re always talking about how you want to start that printing business, but you still haven’t started. What does that make you (Or maybe the question is WHO does that make you)? I’ll let you think about that as we move on to the next point.

3. You don’t have a strong enough why 

You’ve thought about what I said and you’ve come to terms that you truly haven’t started or finished the goals you set. You acknowledge your lack of action, but you wouldn’t call yourself “untrustworthy.” Maybe you don’t start because you don’t know WHY you want it. Could it be possible that your reasons behind the goal aren’t deep enough, large enough, or emotional enough? Are they just simply too shallow? Are you not viewing it as important or worth your time?

4. You haven’t truly decided 

Maybe the promises you made before are big enough, but you haven’t truly decided. If you’ve seen any of my YouTube videos or heard me talking, you may have heard me mention the definition of “Decide.” Decide comes from the Latin suffix “-Cide” which means “to put to death.” Have you put to death all other options? Have you burned your bridges? Sunk your boats? Left your plan Bs? You’re making promises and commitments when you’re not 100% sure of what you want.

5. Your systems and game plan need to be redrawn and revamped.

Sometimes we don’t want to admit: our game plans suck. We have this plan to get to our goal, but it’s lacking something. The plan could be missing the real-world effort and sacrifice it will take to reach said goal. Say you want to become a millionaire by a specific age. You draw up your plan on December 31st. You even make it pretty with all your graphs and colors. You forget to specify how much you will commit to investing. You don’t set up automatic payments even though you are fully aware that you are forgetful. You don’t write out the budget or seek financial guidance from a professional to assist in these things. A year went by and you’re still in the same financial position. This time you rip up your original plan, do your research, ask for help, and set up your automatic payments (or cash envelopes). A few months later your debt is lowering. You’re saving money by making food at home. You feel amazing. Not just because you lost some weight. You feel proud of yourself. You’ve kept your word and in the process, you’ve reaped other mental and physical benefits along with the monetary ones. It’s okay to switch up the plan if the plan isn’t working.

6. You’re overloaded with too many changes

You set too many goals and try to change (or initiate) too many habits simultaneously. You want to start reading for 30 minutes, wake up an hour earlier, heal your relationship, prep your meals, and reach a new PR (Personal Record) weekly with your workouts, and honestly, you’re exhausted. It’s too much for you. You’re overwhelmed and overworked. Focusing on a few small changes is often more helpful than taking on too many large ones.

7. You stopped believing in yourself (or maybe you never believed in yourself to begin with)

We let those small voices in our heads tell us:

No. You aren’t worthy 

You can’t.

She didn’t make it so you won’t.

You’re not pretty enough,

Smart enough,

Fast enough,

Driven enough.

But is that the truth? Who told you weren’t enough? Who told you that you couldn’t be who you say you want to be?

8. You care too much what people think

The way the world is now it’s pretty hard not to care about the opinions of others. I challenge you to care less about what [they] think and care more about what you believe about yourself.

9. You let fear rule your life

You can face your fears or let them chase you. F.E.A.R. can mean:

False Evidence Appearing Real
Face Everything and Rise

Or

Forget Everything and Run

It’s your decision. Mark Twain said: “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

10. You’re spending time in the wrong environments

Are you surrounding yourself with losers, Negative Nancys, people pleasers, and the like? Do you have people in your circle who hold grudges against you? People who are envious of you? Hating on you? People who consistently leach your energy and suck you dry?

Allowing individuals like this to stay connected to you can block you from reaching your goals and keeping your promises to yourself. There’s a reason so many parents say: Birds of a feather flock together, You are the company you keep, etc. If you hang around people long enough you tend to adopt each other’s ways of thinking and being.