My love, it’s okay to pause, rest, and regroup, but don’t give up. If you’ve started, but fell off this post is for you. We will explore steps that have helped me and will help you refocus and be more productive from now on. It’s time to dust yourself off and stand back up.

Detach

Decide to detach from outcomes. We swear up and down that we know the ending of our stories, and maybe we do. I still want to ask you to let go of what you expect to happen. I know this can seem contradictory to what I normally say. I can hear someone reading this thinking But Lana, you always say focus on the end game, not how it’s going to happen or I swear she’s always preaching about being intentional and deciding. I am not telling you not to have dreams and aspirations. I’m insisting that you don’t hold onto the outcome too tightly. Sometimes we set out on one path and are redirected to a new one. Sometimes we swear the profession we went to college for is the career we will stay in forever. That is until God calls us to something totally different. Sometimes we fall in love with a man who checks all the boxes, but you’re so obsessed with him that you chase him away.

Detach from your expectations.

Detach from the fairytale ending.

Detach from the outcome.

What is for you will ALWAYS be for you and It’s okay if it does happen the way you plan.

Tiny Steps

Many of us jump head-first into the habits we were told would get us to the result(s) we want. Often these habits will lead us in the right direction however they can become the nemesis of our intentions/goals if we attempt to start or change too many of them concurrently. Making small intentional changes over time leads to larger results. Beginning and altering habits in this way will cause us to be more likely to continue these habits well past the usual point that most people quit.

Almost a year ago, I started to incorporate small habits into my life. I started with 5 minutes of learning touch typing in December 2023. In September 2024, I practiced writing with my left hand for 5 minutes daily. In 2024, I decided to give myself 5 minutes of walking outside. On January 1, 2025, I committed to writing for 5 minutes each day. Those small habits allowed me to write with my left hand, my writing isn’t perfect, but it gets better. I walk over 3.5 miles outside most days. This is someone who had a hard time walking even 5 minutes because her ankle, knee, and hip, had not recovered fully from an old accident. I am typing this post using the same skill I started at the end of 2023. These small habits compounded over time. They weren’t quick or easy. I started with just 5 minutes and many days it turned into 10, 15, or 20+ minutes. The 5 minutes started my habit, and my “why” kept me going.

Recentering God

For many years I made so many other things my idols. Social media, books, knowledge, etc. These last 30 days I pushed nearer to God. Reading the stories chronicled in the Bible. I’ve had moments where I judged God. I asked him how He could be so mean or cruel? Then the same week I’d read more and surprise myself by thinking How can God flip and be so kind as to listen to the requests of a mortal?? I mean He is GOD He can do whatever he wants, right? It’s funny how just 5 minutes a day turned into something more. I want to know more. I want to understand Him. I want to know Him for myself, not the version of Him that some preacher gave me. Believing without seeing is hard, but my life without Him was even harder,

Focus

In recent years I have become far more distracted. I think we all have. I would pick up my phone for no reason other than to check to see if I had a notification. I became a slave to the notifications. I would do it just as subconsciously as I did any other thing. It was becoming a HUGE problem. I started putting my phone on work focus (This is perfect if you own an iPhone.) After some time, I turned it up by powering my phone off during the hours I built my business. Now, as I’m writing this, I have my phone in a completely different room. It’s in a drawer. I have to walk into the house and across all the rooms if I want to look at it. At the moment, I only use YouTube and Pinterest. I deactivated all other social media platforms over 5 months ago. I am locked in this year. I am committed to creating and giving whatever I can to the people who want to receive it. I will not allow social media or any device to consume my life. I hope you don’t let it take over yours.

Write Down What’s for Tomorrow on Paper Today

You might find it helpful to not be so rigid with your schedules and routine. As women, we really flourish when we are in a space of ease and flow. When we give ourselves space to be women and create what we want we will be happier overall. I started to make a Daily Todo List that has all of my non-negotiable for tomorrow. I write these out the night before so that I know what I absolutely need to have done the next day. I typically will have no more than 6 things on this list (including personal and work). More often than not, I will have 3-4. My typical todo list can look something like this:

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

1. Move my body
2. Record [specific] YouTube video
3. Finish Final Draft of [Specific Blog post]

Another day it might look like this:

Thursday, January 23, 2025

1. Meal prep [specific meal or meals]
2. Move your Body
3. Visit the Library
4. Edit [specific YouTube video]
5. Help ____ with ___ (if you finish on time, if not, add to sch tomorrow)

You’ll want your top 3 to correlate with your life. Before you go to bed get the major todo’s out on paper or into your calendar. This also helps you sleep better at night when you don’t have a bunch of clutter on your mind. I switched from using mostly technology for my schedule to a physical bullet journal. This change aligns with my theme of focusing. For me, using technology too much tempted me to use my phone which led to me being unproductive and wasting time.

Playing Around with Your Schedule & Routines

After you’ve started doing the things you set out to do. Observe what routines have worked and others you may want to tweak (or get rid of). This allows you to have more fun with your life and routine. An example from my own life is that I realized I prefer to take my baths in the mornings when no one is awake yet. I’ll lay in the tub and read my book. I also noticed that I don’t like having the same schedule every day. Some days I want to start my morning with a walk while I listen to whatever book or podcast I’m reading. On other days I prefer to start writing immediately after I exercise or immediately upon waking. There are some days I much prefer to go with the flow as long as I get all the things on my list done. It’s okay to be flexible. Do what feels right for you.

Learn How to Communicate Your Boundaries

For so long I really sucked at having boundaries. When I started to learn about boundaries I went on a mission to practice setting them. I realized at times I would be passive-aggressive or straight-up aggressive when communicating my limits. After these observations, I acknowledged that I had a problem and a solution. I did not want to be that sarcastic angry woman anymore. I desire to effectively speak what I want even if it hurts the other person’s feelings. I’m still working on this and feel very good in my endeavors thus far. What boundaries do you need to set with yourself and others?

No more chasing

This is similar to what I mentioned at the beginning of this post: What is for you is for you. You do not have to chase after anything except God. I want you to understand that everything else that you chase will, by nature, run away from you.

As women, we have a beautiful magnetism that attracts what we want to us. Use your high energy and your being to bring what you want to you. I promise when you start to see how FIRE you are and how alluring you are, amazing things will find you.

Keep Your Hands Open

Share freely. I don’t mean oversharing. I mean give like there’s always more than enough because there is. Keep your hands open and available to give and receive. Money and opportunities will flow to you in excess when you do this. When you do things like there is abundance, more comes back to you. I am not saying to give all your money away or to donate because you want something in return. I am saying give freely when you feel led to. Don’t be stingy.

I was someone who never shared her food. One day it dawned on me that maybe this small behavior was an outward expression of something deeper. I want to mention that I do not believe sharing is always necessary. I know this goes against everything you parent figures and society taught you. Boundaries are important and I don’t feel sharing should be done when you really don’t want to do it. In my reflections, I found that not sharing also stemmed from being stuck in survival mode. I had a belief that “there isn’t enough. I can’t give mine away.” Which is not true. There are more than enough resources, wealth, and land on this earth regardless of how social media tries to scare you into thinking there aren’t.

Slow Down, Baby Girl

Slowing down

Slow down. Listen to your body. Listen to your inner voice. Listen to what God is placing within you. If you don’t slow down, reduce the background noises, and listen, you may miss what is trying to be given to you. You can practice slowing down in many ways:

• Walking slower
• Talking slower
• Eating slower
• Meditating
• Praying
• Journaling
• ETF Tapping
• Breathwork

Remind yourself to slow down daily. You honor yourself each time you relax. It’s okay to be silent or to be bored.

Be Intentional About Nourishment

Eating is different for me now that I’ve placed more emphasis on eating to nourish and fuel my body. Think about ways you can honor your body by nourishing it. Notice how you feel when you eat certain foods or drink specific drinks. For me, I realized alcohol wasn’t helping my body anymore so I gave it up. Some people may note how their favorite coffee from their favorite cafe actually hurts their gut, but when they make it at home their body reacts just fine. Another person may decide they have to quit smoking weed because it dehydrates them and hurts their kidneys more than it helps. Each and every one of us is unique. We have to find what is in alignment with us. Nobody else can make that decision for us.

Recently, I started to like cooking my own food. This is a huge improvement since I used to “hate” cooking. Now I am finding joy in it. It’s so fulfilling knowing that I made something for myself that is providing all the nutrients that my temple needs.

No Bad Days

There is something I started doing that I know will help you if you struggle with letting outside sources steer your day. I began switching my mindset on how I view my days. Once upon a time if something bad happened in the morning I would have a crappy day (sometimes an even crappier week.) Then I learned how to process the bad moments and get better at moving on from them faster and faster. Now, it doesn’t phase me as much if something is thrown at me to get my mood off track. Since I break up my day into morning, afternoon, and night. I can be sad, upset, livid, etc. but only for that part of the day. Most days I have knocked that time down to hours or minutes. I won’t let something or anyone ruin a day I was gifted especially when so many didn’t make it to today.

I encourage you to have bad moments or hours, not entire days. Don’t spend your whole day in a terrible mood. Process, cry, scream, be angry, play the victim, and then let it go. There will likely be times when you may need more than a day to get through something or to grieve. Remember healing doesn’t happen with time. It really happens when you decide you’re ready. I’ve seen people still angry at the same person from 10 years ago. They didn’t heal with time. Conversely, I’ve seen people bounce back from horrible situations. The mental and physical scars are always there to remind us where we came from and where we chose to go.